The Teacher's Note 請簽名歸還

事情是從一張皺巴巴的爛紙條開始的。

那天兒子一放學回家, 照慣例, 馬上就急著要玩要和妹妹鬥嘴, 總是要三催四請才慢吞吞的把書包裡的東西拿出來歸位 (我準備了in box 讓他自己放從學校帶回來的東西, 我晚上有空時才去翻閱整理)。他放好了一堆拉雜東西後, 從書包裡又拿了張紙出來, 「老師說要你簽名」, 直接交到我手裡就轉頭去玩了。好小子! 開學才不到兩個月, 老師的第一張紙條就來了! 上面罰寫了一遍「我會遵守校規」, 老師請家長簽名歸還, 其他什麼都沒有。重點是, 發生了什麼事呢?

我偷瞄了一下兒子, 完全沒有心虛偽善的樣子。「今天在學校有乖嗎?」「有啊!」看來我得換個方法問,「為什麼老師叫你寫這個句子呢? 你想想看, 是不是有不聽話被老師說了?」兒子這會兒停下來認真想了一下, 「喔, 老師說不可以頭朝下溜滑梯, 很危險。然後叫我坐在旁邊不准玩了。」呼, 還好還好, 小錯, 可以更正。我碎嘴訓誡了 一番, 又解釋了頭朝下溜滑梯可能頭破血流很可怕之類, 就簽了名放回書包的聯絡夾裡, 叮嚀兒子明天一早放進教室老師的in box裡。第二天放學, 兒子一臉悶悶不樂, 委屈的說老師又罰他坐在操場邊不准玩, 因為老師問起昨天媽媽簽名的紙條時, 他一下想不起來放在哪了, 老師就認定他沒帶回去, 馬上再度處罰。其實兒子一早就把聯絡夾交回in box了, 老師完全沒有去看一下。

這樣的懲罰適當嗎? 哪裡有說明若隔天沒有簽名歸還, 孩子就要二度受罰呢? 由一個5歲孩子代替老師跟家長溝通, 這樣合理嗎? 老爺叫我不要太介意, 只是件小事, 才剛開學沒多久, 老師又知道我也是教職人員, 合理的詢問也很容易被誤認為批判 。好吧, 人生本來就不公平, 受點委屈, 讓兒子趁早有個小教訓也好。跟兒子聊了一下已經5歲了, 自己的東西自己要負責云云, 吃了點冰淇淋, 我看他也釋懷得很快。那天晚上我寫了email 告訴老師紙條早已交回, 其他什麼都沒說。

突然想起我還在教書時用的behavior chart。從一開學就和家長和學生說明獎懲辦法, 放在教室前方人人清楚可見的地方, 用不同顏色的色卡來鼓勵良好表現的學生, 也提醒行為需要修正的孩子留意言行, 在上課時不需要為了管理秩序而中斷教學, 也沒有突如其來, 動輒得咎的處罰方式。若當天有特殊的獎懲情況, 放學後我都以簡短紙條或email馬上通知家長。

在兒子的教室裡, 我也見過一模一樣的behavior chart。掛在一堆灰塵僕僕的勞作紙後方, 被圖釘釘著的過期周報半蓋著, 上面仍標示著不知是哪年的學生名字。

是啊, 簽名歸還一張老師的紙條, 不難。但是做一個恰如其分的teacher mom, 很難。

It all started with a piece of wrinkled lined paper back in October.

My little guy pulled a paper out from his backpack and handed it to me, " My teacher said you have to sign this." Then off he went to play with his toys. I opened the folded paper. Ah, here we go, my wormy little guy's first teacher note. It looked like the little guy was asked to write a sentence: " I will follow school rules." And the teacher wanted us to sign and return it.

"Did you have a good day?" I was puzzled about what happened. The little guy paused for a second and said, "Yeah!" Hmm, maybe I should ask in a different way. "Why did your teacher ask you to write this sentence? Did you you get in trouble today?" He stopped playing for a minute and said, "Oh, now I remembered. My teacher said I can't slide head down first on the play structure. It's dangerous."

Whew! Ok, not too bad, it was a minor misbehavior. So I reminded him about playground rules, signed the paper and returned it in his homework folder. The next day, the little guy looked unhappy when I picked him up after school. He didn't have his recess but sat on a bench for a time-out. (If you have kids, you know how important recess is to them!) What was the reason? He said when the teacher asked him about the paper, he forgot where it was. (If you have a 5 years old, you know everything needs to be in plain sight or it's considered gone!) The little guy actually followed my direction and returned the homework folder with the paper in there. He just couldn't remember at that moment. And his teacher didn't bother to check first but sent him straight for another punishment.

Was that a fair consequence? Did the note indicate double punishment if it isn't signed and returned the next day? Is it appropriate to rely on a 5 year old's words to communicate with parents? My big guy told me not to make this into a big deal. Concerns from a teacher mom could easily be mistaken as criticism. Well, I guess life isn't always fair. So I talked the little guy about taking responsibilities. He listened and after a bowl of ice cream, he almost forgot all about losing recess. Later that night, I emailed the teacher and told her the whereabouts of the note, nothing else.

All of a sudden, I thought of the color-coded behavior chart I had in the past teaching years. It was a powerful tool for me to monitor students behavior without interrupting the class. Students could see it in front of the classroom as a visual reminder without being put on the spot. Steps to rewards and different levels of consequences were clearly explained to parents and reinforced with students throughout the year. A quick note or email would follow to communicate with parents about any issues occurred during the school day.

Being a parent volunteer every Thursday, I have seen the same  color-coded chart in my little guy's classroom. It is behind a pile of dusty construction paper, pinned under some old school newsletters, and still labeled with student names from who knows which school year.

I know, it's not hard to just sign and return the teacher's note. But it is very hard not to be a questioning teacher mom.

Volunteer in the Classroom 教室義工初體驗

兒子幼稚園開學已經快滿兩個月了, 十月開始我每週四在他班上當半天的義工媽媽, 小不點的2歲女兒也不得已的紅著眼眶, 背影堅毅的在週四早上去daycare四小時, 對我們三個來說, 都是一個全新的開始和捨得。
 

第一次要去當義工媽媽的前晚, 老爺好意警告我要皮繃緊一點, 克制一下要跳上台教書的衝動,只要幫忙做老師交代的事情就好。嗯, 說得沒錯, 我是為了兒子才去幫忙的, 希望他了解媽媽重視他的學習狀況, 願意參與他學習過程的一部分。於是第一個星期, 我剪了上千張的橘色小紙片, 準備全班30個孩子們要做的南瓜拼貼勞作。第二個星期, 我描畫摺疊了30個火雞帽, 把家庭作業歸檔, 然後在大鐵梯上爬上爬下的更換櫥窗佈置。第三個星期, 由於我是家長會1班1人的美術教學義工, 所以教了一堂30分鐘繪畫音樂兼備的美術課。從頭到尾兒子眼睛睜得大大, 很新奇的看著我口沫橫飛, 其他的孩子們倒是聽得津津有味。

 

說真的, 我是有點想念教書的日子。兒子是迫不及待的希望每週四都快點到, 女兒是一聽到媽媽要volunteer就委屈紅眼, 撒嬌說要一起去哥哥學校。

 

啊, 這學年還有好多個星期四呢! 到下個學年之前, 我還剩多少天能再想想何時回去重執教鞭呢?!

 

 

 

My little guy has started kindergarten for two months now. I've decided to volunteer in his class on Thursdays. And my 2 years old little girl has to go to daycare for 4 hours on Thursday mornings. Overall, it's a whole new experience for the three of us!

My big guy warned me before the first time I started volunteering: You need to control the urge of taking the class over and just do whatever the teacher asks. Yes, I totally agree. I'm there for the little guy so that he knows how much I care about his learning.

The first week, I chopped close to a thousand tiny pieces of orange paper for a pumpkin mosaic project. The second week, I traced 30 turkey hats, filed homework, climbed a ladder and took down window decorations. The third week, I finally got to teach an art lesson since I signed up to be a PTA art docent. I have to admit, the teacher in me is itching. Volunteering has gotten me back into a real classroom. However, the experience has been quite interesting to me with mixed feelings.

The little guy is definitely loving the idea of me being there - even though most of the time I sat behind the chart stand and buried by piles of paper. When I was teaching the mini art lesson last Thursday, his eyes got wide open while his classmates participated with excitement. I guess it was an eye opening experience for him - seeing Mommy in action as a classroom teacher for 30 minutes.

There are more Thursdays to come. And I look forward to being there, seeing my little guy learn.

There are more school years to come. And I start to wonder when (or ever) I should be back on stage as a teacher.

 

 

First Day of School 第一天上學

While we were still getting over jet-lag from our Taiwan trip, my little guy's first day of kindergarten was around the corner already. As usual, I got stressed out about this than I really needed to be. What kind of teacher will he have? Is she caring and patient? Is she organized and knowledgeable? Will my little guy make friends and learn happily? Lots for me to wonder and the answers remain unknown until much later.

As I expected, my little guy was quite nervous the day before. We took him to the school yard for a tour in the afternoon. Before bedtime, we read the story "The Kissing Hand" together to give him some encouragement. Daddy even had a "boys' talk" with him - if you would like to become a police officer when you grow up, you have to go to school and be smarter than the bad guys.

However, my little guy still cried a little bit about wanting to stay home with me and his little sister. I know it always takes a couple of days for him to get used to changes. During the past month in Taipei, it took him quite some time to adjust to the different lifestyle and the art class I signed him up for. But he would be a happy camper as soon as he got familiar with the routines.

September 5, 2012, first day of school, maybe Daddy's police story sank in. My little guy was happy and ready for kindergarten in the morning. He said hi to the teacher and started playing basketball on the playground right away. I watched him outside of the fence with my little girl until he lined up, waved goodbye, and went in the class with the other kids.

Yeah, I made it without crying. As I was walking back to my graciously fought and earned parking space, my heart was filled up with joy. The journey of public education has officially started for my little guy.

  

Kindergarten Inventory Test 幼稚園學前考試

自從二月時我們家兒子抽籤抽中，可以去上家裡附近隸屬的公立小學以後(僧多粥少所以要抽籤)，我就如釋重負的把這件事擱在一旁，繼續過我的家庭主婦安逸日子。直到最近逛街時發現，成群的小鬼頭大白天的就在公共場所亂竄，我才驚覺暑假已經開始了。

咳咳, 這就意味著小學行政人員即將要開始精神鬆懈，於是我神經緊張的決定，最好還是趁早再打通電話去，確認一下沒啥別的事要做，兒子九月可以穩穩當當的開心上學去。

沒想到學校辦公人員放輕鬆的速度比我快，我從早上9點打到下午2點都沒人接。下午3點，總算有人接了電話，1分鐘內將我迅速打發，說一切都沒問題就等開學，在掛我電話之前落下一句「喔，八月份要考一個幼稚園學前考試，之後學校會再通知。」

什麼？我沒聽錯吧！「嗯，請問一下，這是什麼樣的考試？考試的用意是什麼呢?」「考試的結果要用來決定學生的班別，其他的我不清楚，請等學校通知。」就這樣，問不出個所以然來，我只好掛了電話。

一星期之後，學校通知來了，看完了還是一頭霧水。信裡不但沒有告知家長考試的內容，也沒有說明要給五歲小孩考試的用意，只說這是為了讓老師能準備更充分，讓小孩學習會更好，而且還用大寫字母強調學校很忙，請在被指定的時間報到不要囉嗦。

從家長的角度來看，我是一肚子疑問。這是國家的義務教育，連非法移民都可以讀的公立小學，不是私立名校，要大把鈔票，能力測驗，還要通過面試才能就讀。就算要測驗學生的程度，用來幫助老師因材施教，學校卻用這單一考試的成績做學前分班，對求學之路剛開始的5歲孩子來說，公平嗎？以做老師的角度來看，我也曾經在教幼稚園那年做過類似的評量，但那是在已經開學2-3星期之後，我對每個學生都有了相當程度的認識和了解，評量的結果也僅供我個人的教學參考，與學校行政作業或班級分發是完全無關的。

考慮了一下，孩子的爸和我決定冷處理，反正八月回台灣的機票早就訂好了，勢必是沒辦法按時去考試，開心度假回來再看著辦吧！

這年頭，要讓兒子上個學可真不容易啊!

After my son's name had been picked in the kindergarten lottery in February, I felt at ease that he can start school in September with no problems. However, knowing summer break has just started and school office will be closed shortly after,  I got nervous again and decided I should call to make sure there is nothing else we need to do.

I was expecting the school office to answer the phone promptly since all kids are out. Instead, I called every hour from 9am-2pm but no one answered. Finally, someone picked up the phone at 3pm. The office staff on the phone said everything was all set and my son is good to go. Before I could say thank you and hang up the phone, she said, " Oh, he will need to take a test sometime in August before school starts. So we can determine whether he will be in the early or the late bird kindergarten class." (Early bird class is 8:30-11:50 am, late bird class is 9:30 am-12:50 pm, the same teacher teaches the two staggered classes.)

Wait a minute, I thought. "Can you please tell me what the test is about and when it will happen in August? " "No, I don't know. You will just have to wait for a letter from school. It will be mailed to you next week." I said thank you and hung up the phone. I knew I wouldn't get any more information from her.

This week, the mysterious letter has arrived.

I read it from a parent's perspective. The letter provides no information about the test. And it demands you to keep your appointment time because they are very busy. This is a public school, not a private school which children need to test and interview to get in. Even if an assessment needs to be done before school starts, should the result be used to determin which kindergarten class my son will be in? Does this mean the early bird class is full of immature dummies? Does this mean late bird class is full of beyond the grade level geniuses? Should we label 5 years old children based on a single test, which the content is unknown and unavailable to the parents?

Putting all the questions aside, I read it again with a teacher's mind. My first year as a teacher was to teach a kindergarten class. From what I remember, I think this is the inventory test which evaluate a new kindergartener's academic abilities.  The assessment is usually done during the first two weeks "after" a new school year has begun. It helps the teacher get an overview of the students' academic levels so the lessons can be planned accordingly. However, I never heard of this inventory test being administered "before" the kindergarten year starts, nor did the result being used to determine class assignments.

Well, the big guy and I have decided to look at it this way: since we have already booked tickets to visit family in Taiwan for the whole month of August, we will not be able to make it on the assigned appointment date anyways. We will enjoy our vacation and worry about the test later.

Isn't it easy to get my son into a public school kindergarten!


(For more information about kindergarden in California, visit http://www.cde.ca.gov/ci/gs/em/kinderinfo.asp )

Education for the Money 學海無涯, 「錢」頭是岸?

Recently I have read a story written in Mandarin by an annymous Chinese-Jew mom. I found an English version of the story at the link below:

Jewish Heritage of Family Education in Finance - A Story told by a Chinese-Jew Mom

Doesn't it make you wonder the meaning of education?

Most young children I know live comfortably with everything provided by their parents. My own children don't know the difference between gourmet cuisine and fast food. They can't tell the difference between Nordstrom outfits and Good Will second-hands. At such an innocent age, they learn, they grow, and along the way, they acquire knowledge and skills through school and family education. With all that (and maybe a little luck), one day, they will be able to support themselves in life.

Is money important? Of course it is. Through education, many of us found the way to make a living.

But is money the answer to everything?

Education is more than just a means to an end. I want my children to grow through the fun of learning. I want them to genuinely care about family, friends, and people around them.  I want them to share within their means and ask for no return. I want them to repect themselves and others, despite of cultural and social-economical differences.

Being a millionair definitely opens the door to a comforatble and luxurious life. However, the values children learn through education can not be measured by money. And I believe, these value will be what carry them through any unknown obstacles in life.

最近讀了這篇猶太裔中國籍華人的故事，讓我再次思考教育與學習的目的為何。

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1992年，當我輾轉回到以色列的時候，13歲的老大、12歲的老二和10歲的小女兒都還暫時留在中國。 選擇在那時回到以色列，完全是窮途末路：我的父親是猶太人，二戰時逃亡到上海，並在那生下我。母親在我很小的時候就拋棄了我們，12歲那年父親去世，我就成了孤兒。長大後，我在上海銅廠當體力女工。結婚生下3個孩子後，丈夫離我們而去。留在上海，滿眼都是痛苦的回憶。正好那時中以正式建交，懷著一種逃避的心情，我成為了第一批回到以色列的猶太後裔。

初到以色列的日子，比想像中要困難許多。

我不懂得那語言(父親教的古希伯萊語早已不在以色列使用)，不懂得移民優惠政策(新移民可以有一筆安家 費)。在特拉維夫的大街上，我壓根不知道怎樣才能生存下去。我從上海帶去的積蓄只能維持3個月的生活開支，我必須找到賺錢的辦法，還要早日把孩子接到我身邊。
我苦攻希伯萊語，學最基本的生活語言，然後，我在路邊擺了個投資最小的小攤賣春捲。
以色列的官方貨幣是謝克爾，1謝克爾兌換人民幣2塊錢，更小的幣值是雅戈洛，1謝克爾等於100雅戈洛。我的 春捲小攤，每天能賺到十來個謝克爾。當我的小攤生意慢慢穩定下來以後，1993年5月，我把3個孩子都接到了以色列。

孩子們初到以色列的時候，受到了不少鄰居們的責難。以前在國內時，我一直秉承再苦不能苦孩子的原則，到了以色列以後，我依舊做著我合格的中國式媽媽：我把孩子們送去學校讀書，他們上學的時候我賣春捲。 到了下午放學的時候，他們就來春捲攤，我停止營業，在小爐子上面給他們做餛飩下麵條。 一天，當3個孩子圍坐在小爐子旁邊等我做飯的時候，鄰居過來訓斥老大："你已經是大孩子了，你應該學會去幫助你的母親，而不是在這看著母親忙碌，自己就像廢物一樣。 "然後，鄰居轉過頭訓斥我： "不要把那種落後的中國式教育帶到以色列來，別以為生了孩子你就是母親……" 鄰居的話很傷人，我和老大都很難受，回家後，我安慰老大： "沒事的，媽媽能撐住，我喜歡照顧你們。 "可是，老大說： "也許，她說得沒錯。媽媽，讓我試著去照顧弟弟妹妹吧……" 第二天是祈禱日，孩子們中午就放學了。來到我的小攤，老大坐在我旁邊，學著我的樣子把打好的春捲皮包上餡，卷成成品，然後入油鍋去炸。他的動作一開始有些笨拙，但是後來越來越熟練……老大身上的轉變大得連我自己都想不到，除了幫我做春捲，他還提出由他們帶做好的春捲去學校賣給同學。每天早上，他和弟弟妹妹每人帶20個春捲去學校，放學回 來的時候，會把每人 10謝克爾的賣春捲收入全部上交給我。我覺得很心酸，讓他們小小年齡就要擔起生活的擔子。

可是，他們沒有表現出我想像的那種委屈，他們說他們慢慢開始喜歡這種賺錢的感覺了。鄰 居太太經常來跟我聊天，告訴我正規的猶太家庭應該如何運作，應該如何教育孩子：猶太人從來不覺得賺錢是一個需要到達一 定年齡才能開展的活動，與中國的"教育從娃娃抓起"一樣，他們始終覺得"賺錢從娃娃抓起"才是最好的教育方式。
鄰居太太告訴我，在猶太家庭沒有免費的食物和照顧，任何東西都是有價格的，每個孩子都必須學會賺錢，才能獲得自己需要的一切。我覺得這樣的教育手段比較殘酷，不是那麼容易接受。但是，孩子們在學校也被灌輸著這樣的理念。他們比我更容易地接受了這種猶太法則。於是，我決定改變以前在國內對孩子們的習慣，試著培養他們成為猶太人。

首先，我們家確立了有償生活機制，家裡的任何東西都不再無償使用，包括我這個母親提供的餐食和服務。在 家吃一頓飯，需要支付給我100雅戈洛的成本費用，洗一次衣服需要支付50雅戈洛……在收取費用的同時，我給予他們賺錢的機會，我以每個春捲30雅戈洛的價錢批發給他們，他們帶到學校後，可以自行加價出售，利潤部分 可自由支配。 第一天下午回來以後，我得知3個孩子賣春捲的方式竟然截然不同：老三比較老實，按照老價錢，50雅戈洛一個 零售，賺到了400雅戈洛；老二則使用了批發手段，40雅戈洛一個直接將春捲全部賣給了學校餐廳，儘管只200 雅戈洛的利潤，但他告訴我餐廳同意每天讓他送100個春捲去；老大的方式比較出人意料，他在學校舉辦了一個 "帶你走進中國"的講座，由他主講中國國內的見聞，講座噱頭就在於可免費品嘗美味的中國春捲，但是需要買 入場券，每人10雅戈洛，每個春捲都被他精心分割成了10份，他接待了200個聽眾，入場券收入2000雅戈洛，在上繳學校500雅戈洛的場地費用後，利潤 1500雅戈洛。

除了老三的方法在我意料以內之外，老大和老二的經營方式都超出了我的想像。我真的沒有料到，只在短短數日之間，以前只會黏著我撒嬌的孩子就搖身一變成了精明的小猶太商人。他們的學業並沒有因此受到任何影響，為了琢磨出更多更新穎的賺錢方法，他們很努力地去學習和思考——老師授課的內容很對他們胃口，因為沒有奉獻精神之類的說教。

老師問過他們這樣一個問題："當遭到異教徒的襲擊，必須逃命的時候，你會帶著什麼逃走？" 對於這個問 題，回答"錢"或"寶石"是不對的。這是因為，無論是錢還是寶石，一旦被奪走就會完全失去。正確的答案是"教育"。與財物不同，只要人活，教育就不可能被別人奪走。 他們很讚賞老師說的這麼一句話： "如果你想將來成為富翁，就學好眼前的東西，它們將來都會大有用處的……"

當老大在法律課上學習了移民法後，他告訴我像我們這樣的家庭應該可以去移民局領取安家費。我半信半疑去了，結果一下領回了6000謝克爾的安家費，這對我們一家來說可是一筆了不得的財產。然後，老大跟我說因為 他給我提供了資訊，我應該付給他10％的酬金。我猶豫很久，終於決定把600謝克爾這筆大錢給他，他拿到錢後，給我和弟弟妹妹都買了很漂亮的禮物，剩下的錢，他說他會拿去變成更多的錢。老大用這筆酬金郵購了一批在國內很便宜的文具，然後去學校進行售賣，利潤再投入繼續進貨，1年以後他戶頭上的金額就已經超過了 2000謝克爾。

儘管老大很會賺錢，但在實際上，老二比他更領會猶太法則的精髓——猶太人共同的一點是，從事那些不用投入 本錢的行業，從事其他人不做的、無須花錢和投資的工作。當老大在利用國內的資源賺錢的時候，老二也在如此做著，不過，他賺的是不需要成本的精神領域的利潤——老二以他14歲的年齡和文筆，竟然在報紙上開設了自 己的專欄，專門介紹上海的風土人情，每週交稿2篇，每篇1000字，每月8000雅戈洛。老三是女孩子，因為比較矜持，也沒有展露出賺錢方面的才能，但是我在她身上欣慰地看到了猶太人對生活的樂觀和優雅。她學會了煮茶和做點心，每天晚上，她會精心煮一壺紅茶，配上她自創的口味不同的點心，一家人圍坐下來邊吃邊聊 天——老三的點心有點中西合璧的味道，兩個哥哥都很喜歡。 不過，這些點心不是免費的，兩個哥哥支付的點心費用，刨開成本和每天需要交給我的費用外，老三也能活得很滋潤。當我們家的資金越來越豐富的時候，我們一家４口合資開辦了我們家的中國餐廳。我占40％股份、老 大30％、老二20％、老三10％。當我們家的餐廳越來越有名的時候，我也引起了很多關注。當我獲得拉賓的接見後，我成了以色列的名人。此時的我已經完全掌握了希伯萊文，再加上我的母語中文，我最後被以色列國家鑽石公司邀請擔任駐中國首席代表。

當我回國任職的時候，孩子們也跟隨我一起回到了中國，有了中國孩子作為比較對象之後，我方才發覺我的孩子成長得比我想像的還要優秀——在回國之前，每個孩子都去購買了很多以色列產的物品。 回國之後，老師來找我了，她說我的孩子在校園推銷來自以色列的商品，從飾品到民族服裝甚至到子彈殼無所不有，她建議我好好管教一下孩子。我告訴她，我無權干涉我孩子的行為，這是他賺取他們學費的方式——因為，我已經不再負責他們的所有學習費用。老師的眼睛頓時瞪得大大的，她理解不了像我這樣月薪5000美元的母親竟然會不給孩子學費。我請她品嘗一下女兒做的在家售價2塊錢一個的小點心，微笑著告訴她："這是我的 孩子在以色列生活幾年以來，學會猶太法則的產物，我相信他們將來都會成為優秀的人才……"。

在隨後的高考中，老大進入了旅遊高等專科學校，他說他要成為專業的旅遊人才，然後去以色列開辦自己的旅遊公司，壟斷經營中國遊；第二年，老二考入上海外國語學院，他說他的理想是當一個作家，在不需任何投資 和奉獻的前提下賺取利潤；老三說她會去學中國廚藝，當一個頂級的糕點師，然後去開辦全以色列最好的糕點店……

回國以後，我發覺很多中國父母都活在一種左右搖擺的矛盾心態中既希望自己的孩子將來能成為大富翁，卻又 似乎害怕孩子過早地沉迷於金錢——就好像，既希望孩子將來能有個幸福的家庭，卻又害怕孩子現在會早戀一樣。這是一種典型的葉公好龍——猶太人用敲擊金幣的聲音迎接孩子的出世，賺錢是他們人生的終極目標，至於教育、學習都是為了達到這個目標必須經歷的過程——而中國的父母，哪怕心中憧憬無比，但卻從來不肯挑明這個話題。

這句話很難說嗎？其實只是簡單的一句："孩子，我想當一個富豪的媽媽!"
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讀完這篇文章，你是否也在思考教育的價值?

我的孩子有飯吃，有學上，有自己的玩具和房間。沒有窮過，不曉得四菜一湯和只有泡麵米湯的差別。沒有苦過，不知道Zara當季童裝和破內褲得省下做抹布的不同。錢財的確是生存的必須，透過教育而學有所長，更是大多數人的生財之道。

沒錯，我希望將來孩子能自給自足，衣食無缺，若有充裕的錢財是錦上添花，人生能走更寬廣的路。然而人生的成就不只是用錢財就能衡量，我更期望孩子能體會學習新知的美好，看重人與人之間的情分，在能力範圍內無私的分享和付出，懂得自重也尊重別人。

唯有這樣成長的孩子，才懂得如何在未知的關口，拿捏生命的分寸。

Before Teacherization 從前，以後

沒多少人知道我在當老師之前做過幾個工作。

畢業剛來美國的時候想讀旅館管理，大學時在台北凱悅打工的經驗，讓我一心嚮往每天接觸人群，美食，和優雅的環境。沒想到在UCLA報名的課程被取消了，誤打誤撞的轉念了企管的證書。一年後，國際學生的身分讓我找工作難上加難，同時又在考慮人生大事，旅館業不定時的上班時間讓我打消了從事這行的念頭。

我的第一份工作是在一間小型健康食品公司當行政助理，每天只要聊天打字就好。第二份工作是在有黑白相間動物商標的中國餐館當經理，兩週的訓練期內，一天要開120英哩的車程來回，學習如何鋪好桌巾和補桌上醬料。第三份工作是在保險公司做業務助理，一天大約只做5份報價。第四份工作是在中文廣播電台當行銷助理，可以幫廣告配音，週六還主持了一個電台美食節目。在接洽了環球影城個把月之後，好不容易取得了90張的免費入場卷，可供電台辦活動，送給聽眾當作優惠。結果經理說我太年輕，表現太過，公司裡其他的人最好不要知道有這回事。第五份工作是在知名健康產品直銷公司當客服。世界各地直銷商打來的詢問電話沒停過，同事平均一天接60通，我每天接聽200通，還要在休息時刻回覆不會講英文的中國直銷商。工作一年之後，經理問我是不是有英語方面的溝通障礙，上星期我轉接給組長處理的一通電話中，組長聽不太懂我解說的情形為何。

我實在是厭倦了換工作，也彷徨不知道自己可以做什麼。在我們家老爺建議之下，我開始了小學教師訓練課程。繳了很多學費，通過無數的考試，上課，觀摩和實習，兩年之後，我拿到了第一階段的雙語教師證照。很幸運的開始教書之後，開始了教師後期的訓練，每週要參加workshops，寫報告，做學生case study，還要被校長和資深老師評估審核，再度歷時兩年之後，我終於拿到了合格的雙語教師證照。緊接而來的卻是加州政府教育經費縮減，像我這樣資淺的老師，每年都有被辭退的危機。

想當個老師不簡單吧! 上星期在LA Times看到一則新聞，一位女性科任老師被國中學生舉報，在情色電影裡看到老師多年之前的演出。其他老師在手機上略查之後通報學區，這名老師被督學指為"瓦解學校制度"，在詳盡調查開始前即被開除。我不禁在想，這位老師走過什麼樣的求職路？是個好老師嗎？在課堂上是否有不得體的行為？想不想繼續教育英才？在被開除之前有為自己說話嗎？

我相信每個人都要為自己所做過的決定負責，凡走過必留下痕跡，在過程中我們不斷學習，重新為自己找到向前的契機。希望有一天，我的孩子能了解，人的過去既不可恥，也不可怕。重要的是，從這一刻起，你要怎麼過你的人生，有沒有勇氣讓以後比從前更好。

Few people know about how I become a teacher in the U.S.

In 1999, with the limited amount of money I had for tuition, I enrolled myself in a one year certificate program at UCLA Extension, majoring in hotel management as an international student. Why hotel managment? It all started when I was a sophomore in college. I taught ESL classes after school and made a decent amount of money. I also worked as a server two nights a week in a restaurant at Grand Hyatt Taipei. The hourly pay was minimum but the job made quite an impression on me. It was all about the things I love - meeting people, gourmet food, and a luxurious environment.

However, after I moved from Taipei to LA, the counselor at UCLA extension informed me the hotel managment program had been cancelled. I could either transfer to another program, or lose my student visa and go back to Taiwan. Well, I wasn't ready to pack up and go home yet. So one year later, I finished the certificate program as a business major. Looking for a job with an OPT status was not easy. (OPT means you can earn minimum wage and be a tax payer as an alien for one year.) Plus the big guy and I were planning to get married, hotel jobs were out of the question since the hours were too crazy.

My first job was an admin assistant in a small health product company. All I did was typing. My second job was an assistant manager at Pxxxx Inn. ( Yes, it's the famous Chinese restaurant with the black and white animal logo.) The HR staff made me drive 120 miles everyday for two weeks for the initial training. My third job was at an insurance company. I prepared about 5 quotes per day. My fourth job was a marketing assistant at a Chinese radio station. I got to co-host a radio show introducing local restaurants on Saturday mornings. After I spent weeks writing proposals and contacting Universal Studio, I got 90 promotional tickets for free. My manager told me I did too good of a job as the new gal. No one in the company should know about this.

My fifth job was at an international health product company Hxxxxxlife. I answered 200 calls from distributors per day. The average calls my colleagues answered were 60. I was the most junior staff chosen to work at the world wide distributor convention in New Orleans. After working there for a year, my manager asked me "Do you feel that you have a langauge barrier? A week ago you transferred a call to your supervisor and he couldn't understand what you explained to him."

I was fed up with job hopping and didn't know what I really wanted to do. My big guy suggested that I should look into teaching again. So I decided to give it a shot, thinking I can become a teacher after a year or two. Well, that was not the case.

Here are what I went through to become a bilingual teacher in California. From step 1 to 10, the long journey took me four whole years!

1. Pass CBEST. (It's a test about your basic knowledge in English, math and writing.)
2. Take more than 60 units worth of classes.
3. Do more than 30 hours worth of classroom observation.
4. Pass CSET. (It's a test about your general knowledge regarding all elementary subjects.)
5. Pass RICA. (It's about how to teach reading.)
6. Take CSET for second language teaching. (In my case: reading, writing, and listening in Mandarin)
7. Be assigned to two different grade levels for student teaching. ( You follow your master teachers and do whatever they ask you to do. They get to write a final review about your performance.)
8. You get your preliminary credential. Find a full time job ASAP at this point. Or your credential will be cancelled after 5 years. (Like getting a teaching job is so easy!)
9. Pass BTSA program. (It's a two year probationary program after you become a full time teacher - workshops, projects, being observed by mentors, and filling out documents to prove that you can teach.)　
10. Finally, you get your clear credential. (It doesn't mean you won't lose your job next year since the budget cut is increasing and you are low on the seniority list.)

Wasn't it easy to become a teacher! There was an article on L.A. Times last week. A middle school teacher was reported by her own students that she was starring in pornographic films in the past. The Superintendant called it a "disruption". The teacher was put on leave then fired pending investigation.

I couldn't help but wondering the alleged teacher's long day's journey into night. Before teacherization, what was her story when she got involved in exotic films? What did she have to overcome to arrive at teacher land? Did she say or do inappropriate things in class? Was she a good teacher? Did she care about making a difference in students' lives? Did she have a chance to stand up for herself upon job termination?

We all have to answer to the decisions we made in the past. Along the way, we learn, and we move on to find ourselves new beginnings. One day, I hope my children will understand there is no need to be afraid or ashamed of your past. It makes you who you are today. What matters is how you will live your life from now on.  What matters is how you can make tomorrow a better day.

To Be or Not to Be 一日為師

去年二月我就決定了要今年在家休息，教了六年的書有些疲倦，最主要還是因為當時8個月大的女兒在家出了意外，保母一時失神讓女兒被熱奶器裡的水燙傷，動了手術住了院，在我心裡的傷痕不亞於女兒身上的印記。另外兩個教同年級的資深老師也都不約而同的決定退休，各自規劃卸下教職以後的人生。其中一個六十好幾(依舊是個金髮辣阿嬤)的老師感慨的說，教了三十年的書，一輩子與「老師」這個稱謂畫上等號，今後不教書了，還真不知道該如何給自己定位。

中國人說十年樹木，百年樹人，但是很多家長都忽略了教職也是一份工作，要下班，要領薪水，老師也有家，有私人生活。就像兒子3歲剛開始上幼稚園的時候一樣，理所當然的覺得週末學校也會開門，老師們不是全都住在那裏嗎? 早上八點半上課，七點五十就有律師家長在教室門口等，想花個兩小時跟你研究為什麼孩子自治會選舉落選。凌晨四點會收到急診室值班醫師家長的電郵，詢問兩星期前公布(而且今天該交)的功課到底是什麼。家長會談時，好學生的家長質問你為什麼不給孩子更多挑戰。學習要加強的學生，家長認為你教導無方，輔導不力。行為偏差的孩子，家長覺得你沒有耐心，課堂失序。加上每天只有45分鐘的午餐時間，全校老師在排隊上廁所，排隊影印作業，急忙回家長電話和電郵，再排隊微波熱好便當之後，通常只剩下不到5分鐘能吃飯。幸運的話，大概在上課鐘響前還有幾秒鐘，可以和走廊上擦肩而過的其他老師說聲嗨。

我一點都沒有誇張，其實也不算是抱怨。在加州學校工友的薪資比老師多的情況下，我還是喜歡教書。我喜歡孩子學習時眼中發亮的期待。有學生不小心脫口喊我「Mom」，我偷笑著驕傲孩子對我的親暱和信任。我喜歡學生繞在身邊，迫不及待報告放學後我沒參與到的拉雜瑣事。我更珍惜中堂下課後，在我桌上偶然出現的野生蒲公英和手繪小卡片。

雖說做媽媽是我人生最重要的功課和學習，一日為師，我想大概這輩子，我都將厚顏以此自居。

When I decided to become a full time mom last year, two other teachers teaching at my grade level also made the decision to retire at the end of the school year. Although we all had different reasons to leave the job, the mixed feelings we had toward teaching remain the same.

My daughter, 8 months old at that time, was accidentally burned by hot water while with the nanny at home. It was a extremely painful and traumatic experience for all of us. It also led me to reconsider what are my priorities in life. So, on June 9, 2011, I said goodbye to my students at the begining of summer break, locked up my classroom, and moved out years worth of teaching materials, books, tools, props, and memories to storage.

Maybe it's hard to believe. But many people tend to forget a teacher has a personal life. Just like how my son felt when he first started preschool at 3 - he assumed all teachers live at school and they never leave. If you have an office job earning a mid 40K annual salary, your boss or clients probably won't expect you to be on call at 4am or 8pm on a daily basis without prior notice.

But if you are a teacher, you might get an ADA mom waiting by your classroom door 40 minutes before school starts, ready to have a two hour conversation about why her child didn't win for student council. You might receive an email sent at 4 am from an ER doc mom, asking what the homework is on the exact due date. At parent conference, the parents think you haven't challenged their child accordingly if the child is doing a good job. If the student needs improvement, the parents say you haven't given the child enough attention. If there are behavior issues, the parents believe you don't have patience and can't manage your class.  Not to mention if you are low on the senority list, your principal might drop in on you at any minute and stay however long she wants. You can't say no to parents who volunteer to help but actually sip Starbucks and "hellicopter" their own children.

Moreover, during your exact 45 minutes lunch break, you need to walk 28 kids in line to cafeteria and make sure they are fed. Secondly, you wait in line at the only teacher restroom to take care of your business. Then, you wait in line at the only copy machine to prep for the afternoon projects. Back to your classroom, you check your voice mail and struggle with the 5 years old PC to reply emails. Eventually, you wait in line again at the only microwave to heat up your lunch. It's a lucky day if you have 5 minutes left to eat and say hi to another teacher in the hallway.

I'm not exaggerating or trying to be bitter. Despite all the above said and all the more I didn't mention, I taught primary grades for 6 years. I love being a teacher. I like teaching kids in different ways so they find school fun. I enjoy the moment when a kid unintentionally calls me "Mom". I listen to stories about their day after school. I cherish the occasional dandelions and hand-made cards after recess. I love seeing kids' eyes brighten up when they learn.

After staying at home happily for almost a year, I couldn't help but miss a teacher's gig. Although being a mom is always the first thing, being a teacher is still somewhere down on my list.

To be or not to be, I believe it will always be my inner calling.

Between Rewards and Consequences 獎懲之間的溫柔

我不知道其他已經為人父母的朋友們有沒有事先被警告過, 但是從來沒人在我生兩個小孩前先提醒我, 當媽媽是個沒日沒夜, 一秒鐘也沒得請假的工作。更麻煩的昰, 怎麼當個你自己孩子的好媽媽根本沒個準兒。不像是想吃雞塊就去麥當勞, 想看1元電影就去租RedBox, 或是看到鬼祟的人就叫條子來這麼簡單。沒有什麼秘笈或先知, 能在你不知道怎麼辦時馬上研判當時的狀況, 提供你精闢的說明和詳細解套模式。

所以當媽媽不知道該怎麼教養小孩時, 要問誰? 所有有小孩的人都會心有戚戚焉的聽你抱怨, 沒小孩的人也可以熱血沸騰發表養寵物的經驗, 要是問到個老師或是教練, 說起獎懲孩子總好像是個權威。但我總覺得,不管別人的方法多好, 建議多誠懇, 自己的孩子該怎麼教, 好像還是得自己斟酌看著辦。

我四歲半的兒子打小就是個開心友善的寶貝, 1歲半坐在推車裡就猛跟陌生人傻笑揮手。開始學說話後觀察力超強, 記得媽媽怎麼開車才是回家的路。三歲開始上學後好喜歡老師和同學, 周末還沮喪的問為什麼學校不開門。4歲左右愛耍寶, 更愛上老卡通"Tom&Jerry", 去公園五分鐘內跟其他陌生小孩變很熟打成一片。但是多話熱忱的一體兩面, 就是愛管閒事, 碎嘴, 和缺乏自我控制。常常在上課時急著要聊天, 午餐時忙著搞笑忘了吃飯, 跆拳道練習時在關心新同學, 顧不了要站直排隊。最後結果就是一天到晚被帶離現場, 到旁邊去冷靜。在老師和教練多次失去耐性後, 兒子在其他同學和家長前有心無意的被貼了標籤。

每個小男孩都有這樣的過渡期嗎? 我想每個孩子都有些獨一無二的狀況。我承認兒子常常在測試我的耐心極限, 使盡所有以前用來教學生的把戲之後, 我還是沒有建立任何老師的威嚴, 在兒子眼裡, 我就只是媽媽而已。昨天又為了在跆拳道愛說話發了他一頓脾氣, 忽然在鏡子裡看見我皺眉咆嘯的臉孔, 很猙獰。

不管今後兒子表現如何, 我還是會一直學習怎麼做個更好的媽媽。我還是會蹲下用他的高度聽他說話, 真心接受他的反省。我還是會抱著他在睡前說個故事, 讓他知道媽媽愛他, 在媽媽心裡他永遠是個寶貝。

教養孩子的路還很長很長, 希望我時時提醒自己, 不要忘記在獎懲之間, 一顆做母親溫柔的心。

For all the parents out there, did anyone tell you raising a child is a lesson you need to constantly work on every second of the day? No one ever told me that before I brought two lives into this world. And the scary part is, there isn't a specific authority go-to figure who can always give you the right answers when you don't know what to do. It's not like you want chicken nuggets, you go straight to McDonalds. You want a $1 movie, you find a RedBox. You see suspicious activities, you call the cops.

Therefore, anyone who has kids can be the professional in parenting. Anyone who doesn't have kids can be also be a parenting expert providing a different perspective. Not to mention teachers, conselors, and coaches, their insights on how to praise and discipline kids are highly valued as well. But the truth is, no matter what the other parenting gurus say, when it comes to your own child, you should be the one making the best judgement and decisions.

My 4 and half years old son is a very happy, observant, friendly and expressive boy. When he was 18 months old, he would smile and wave at strangers when I pushed him in the stroller. When he started talking, he recognized the streets in our neighborhood and Grandma's house.  When he started preschool at 3, he couldn't wait to tell me his day. And he asked to go to school during the weekends. When he was 4, he enjoyed "Tom& Jerry" so much and would make friends with any random child in the park within 5 minutes.

However, from a different perspective, my sweet boy, is also very whiny, nosy, chatty and lack of internal self-control. At preschool, he tries to chat with his buddies during instructional time. At school lunch, he tries to be funny and couldn't finish his food.  At Taekwondo practice, he wants to know the new kid's name and can't stand in a straight line. So it turns out, he gets time-outs a lot. And sometimes, unintentionally but inappropriately, gets singled out by teachers and coaches in front of other children and parents.

Are all boys his age like this? I don't know. Every child is unique in his/her own way. But I do know at times, my son is pushing my level of patience. Yesterday, I saw how ugly my face was in the mirror when I yelled at him. After trying all my teacher strategies, (plus the Chinese parenting books saying "not" to reward or threaten your child), I failed to establish my teacher authority to my son. After all, I'm just his mommy. In the mean while, he continues to be who he is - happy, observant, friendly and expressive on one day; whiny, nosy, chatty and lack of self-control on another.

I realized no matter how my son did at school or at Taekwondo, how he got lectured or time-outs by teachers, coaches or even us, at the end of the day, he is still just my little boy. I would still kneel down to his height, listen to what happened to his day and how he promised to do better. I would still read him a bedtime story and give him a long hug, tell him I love him very much and how special he is in my heart.

Between all the rewards and consequences, please don't let me forget the tenderness in a mother's heart.

Book Review: 團圓 / Immigrants

和好姊妹在台北逛花栗鼠兒童書店時發現了這本童書 -  團圓，嚴實的用塑料薄膜包裹著，一本正經的被放在書架上，好像深怕別人偷看了裡面的故事。我被書名和封面吸引，儘管看不到故事的內容，我還是買下了帶回來準備講給兒子聽。湊合著床前的昏黃小燈，這ㄧ講可不得了，哭點很低的我淚水直打轉，眨著眼睛聲音還差點哽咽。

兒子還小，不懂鄉愁，不懂離別，更不懂團圓之後的離別。

故事裡小女孩的爸爸在外地蓋房子， 一年只能回家一次，就是過年的時候。從一開始見面對爸爸有些陌生，到和爸爸一起包硬幣在湯圓裡，穿新衣拜新年，幫忙爸爸整修房子，看舞龍舞獅，堆雪人，小女孩和爸爸開心的相聚，時間卻過得很快，爸爸又要收拾行李出遠門了。

在中國，每年有無數的移民工人從農村到城市尋找工作，因為政府的戶籍制度，他們無法在落腳城市取得居民合法身分，沒有身分則不能享有城市居民的教育和醫療福利。大多數的移民工人住在雇主搭建的宿舍裡，賺取微薄的薪水，幾乎與外界隔絕，有家眷的只能每年過年時見一次面。

12 年了，我這個美國第一代移民掙得了自己一塊小小的位置，也試著每年回家一次。什麼時候，在中國境內的移民人口也能篳路藍縷，城鄉相融?

I came across this children's picture book written in Mandarin while I was hanging out at a children's bookstore in Taipei. It was all wrapped in platic and I couldn't see what the story was about at all. However, I love the book title - Tuan Yuan (It means "reunion" in Mandarin.) and the illustration on the book cover. So I brought it back home and read it to my son as a bed time story. It turned out, my tears unexpectedly ran like a broken faucet.

The little girl's father comes home only once a year for a couple of days. He builds houses in other cities in China and he just came home for the Chinese New Year. Through putting a coin in sticky rice balls, visiting friends, doing maintenance work on the house and watching dragon dance together, the little girl enjoyed the short period of time she had with her father, until it's time to say goodbye again.

Millions of "immigrant labors" in China moved from farm villages to cities, looking for jobs to feed their family. Despite the extended period of time they stay in the cities, the government considers them as temporary city residents. These "immigrant labors" don't share the same benefits in health insurance and medical care as the existing city residents. They live in dorms specifically built for them by their employers. Working long hours and making minimum wages, most of them don't have much contact with the actual city life. Moreover, since their children don't have the equal rights to attend the city public schools, their family usually stayed behind in the farm villages. Sadly, many children in the farm villages only get to see their father (sometimes both parents) once a year.

Being one of the countless first generation immigrants to the United States, my reunion with my extended family also happens once in a year. Although I made close to minimum wages as a former public school teacher, I had access to affordable health insurance and managed to purchase a suburban house. My children will benefit from free public education unil 12th grade wherever we choose to live.

In a way, I am grateful of this land of equal opportunities. While Jeremy Lin continues to prove "Linsanity" is not "Linished", I guess I have proved a FOB can become a credential teacher, too - and a pretty darn good one.

Home 回家

On October 27, 1999, I carried two heavy luggage cases and moved from Taipei to Torrance, California. I left my family, friends, and everything I was familiar with behind for an unknown new beginning. At that time, I didn't know I would call myself a Californian one day. Nor did I know I would start my own family here.

Ever since we moved to Fremont 7 months ago, I gradually found how much I miss Torrance, the school I taught at, and even the Pacific Ocean. There is nothing wrong with Fremont, especially with all the Chinese restaurants and stores a full time mommy can hope for. There is nothing wrong with the house we are renting either, other than the occasionally stucked garage door. However, every once in a while, I still complained that I want to go back to Torrance, almost as often as how I nagged about moving back to Taipei years ago.

I couldn't help but thinking: How do you call a place "home"?

When I was little, my parents moved us from one renting place to another due to a variety of reasons. I didn't feel much (or had any choices) at the time. Until I moved out of the little island, I start to envy people who always have a place to go back to in Taiwan. It could be just a tiny old apartment. The bedroom probably hasn't changed much since high school. But that's yours. That's where you grew up. That's where all the memories were.

In August 2007, my son was three months old. We bought our first house in Torrance. I remembered looking at it as the painters painting all the wall colors I picked. I thought, " This is where my home is going to be. The memories with my big guy and my little one will start here from now on. "

Who knows less than four years, we had to rent our house out and moved to Fremont for another new beginning. My baby daughter is too young to remember anything. But my big guy definitely misses his childhood friends and family. From our trip back to Torrance last month, I saw how hard it was for my 4 years old son to say goodbye to his friends and grandparents.

My big guy said, " Home is wherever you and the kids are now."

I feel the same way, too. But somehow, "home" means more to me than just being with my big guy and little ones. It's a place where I can plant my root in. It's a place where I can comfortably fit in and belong to. It's a place with people I love and people who love me. So, my home is in Taipei. It is in Torrance. And who knows?  Maybe it's even in Fremont.

One day, I hope with our love and guidance, my little ones will find their way home simple, direct, and without doubts, too.

Book Review: Llama Llama Red Pajama 拉瑪故事系列

Baby Llamma was tugged in bed and Mama Llama turned the lights off. Was Baby Llama asleep yet? Not yet! Baby Llama wanted a drink. But Mama was busy washing dishes and talking on the phone. Baby Llama went from whimpering to hollering. Llama drama was not going to stop until Mama Llama came to set things straight!

I found this heart-warming llama book on the catalog when my students were placing their orders from Scholastics every month. It is a cute story to help young chlildren face bedtime fear. I read this book to my son when he was 2 years old, getting ready to switch from crib to the big boy bed. He loved this story and asked for a cup of water before bed ever since...But I was surprised how he grew to love his new bed and sleep independently in such a short time!

Another llama book I found was at our school book fair. Mama Llama gets Llama Llama ready for his first day of preschool. Say hi to the teacher. Look at the toys. Everything was new and everyone was new. It was too much for Llama Llama when Mama Llama had to leave! Is Mama Llama ever going to come back? Of course! And the other children showed Llama Llama how fun a school day can be!

This is a great book to prepare little ones for the first day of school. The rhyming story is fun to read and there are many colorful characters in the illustration to catch the young reader's eye. It eases children's  mind about the uncertainty of a new school and encourages them to talk about their feelings.

The third Llama book tells a story which probably every parent has experienced! Have you even seen little ones throwing tantrums at a store? Screaming, crying, throwing things, lying on the ground, dragging Mommy's pants, begging for what they want...Yes, it's the kind of public embarrassment only parents will understand and pity!

Llama Llama doesn't like to shop with Mama Llama. But shopping needs to be done and Mama Llama can't leave Llama at home alone. Lots of aisles, busy shoppers, and long lines at Shop-O-Rama, before Mama Llama could notice, Llama Llama was getting very MAD! Mama Llama quickly calmed him down and cleaned everything up. Now Mama Llama will make shopping more fun for Llama Llama.

Enjoy this book with your young ones! You can also alk about how to make shopping easier and more fun for the both of you!

我實在太喜歡這三本llama的書了! 為了llama 的中文譯名，我還意外在網上資料裡學到了「美洲駝 llama」，「駱馬vicuna」和「羊駝/草泥馬 Alpaca」的分別呢!!

找了好一會兒才找到中英雙語版本的拉瑪故事系列，剛好是我有的那三本故事集合成一套販售。由封面圖片看來是由內地出版社做的翻譯(簡體字)，把llama音譯為拉瑪，保留了英語原著裡押韻的趣味，所以我也跟著用了!  雙語版本在英文原著的部分標示了漢語拼音，更方便以中文為母語的孩子們閱讀。原著在美國很受歡迎喔! 一些周邊商品也開始熱賣了! 下面這是我找到中英雙語版的Amazon網站連結，有興趣可以參考一下，不知道在台灣的書店或網上買不買的到!

Mandarin bilingual version of the books:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/7539037059/sr=1-1/qid=1329255109/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1329255109&sr=1-1&seller=

Harvard to Knicks - Who is Jeremy Lin? 誰是林書豪

Like I mentioned before, I was born and raised in Taiwan, moved to the States in 1999. Even though it has been over 10 years, I'm still pretty much a FOB. And I'm the same as the majority of Asian girls in my generation who live in Asia forever - we don't really care for sports. Not basketball, not baseball, not soccer, not sporty anything. (I know, there are some of you out there who can prove me wrong, like my dear friend Maria, but I said "majority" of my generation, ok? )

I don't know why. Maybe it's because I never had the genes to run fast, jump high, or handle any kind of ball in the right way. My friends were shocked when they knew P.E. is one of the subject I had to teach as an elementary school teacher. I don't blame them. My mom signed me up for swimming lessons in middle school but until this day I'm still afraid of water. Out of 56 girls in my high school class, I came in last running 100 meters. My eyes and arms don't coordinate well to hit the tennis ball with the racket. I tripped on tiny rocks when I walk in the park with my 21 month old daughter. Anyways, you get the picture. You will not find me as the tanned bikini Asian chick playing beach volley anywhere.

But ever since this Monday, I started paying attention to the NBA games, all because of Jeremy Lin. I had no idea who he was. I guess no one did. He came out of nowhere and became the point guard, the center of attention of New York Knicks.

He is not like Yao Ming, the 7ft. 6 in. giant who was a professional basketball player from China . Jeremy Lin was born in the States and grew up in Palo Alto, California. His parents immigrated from Taiwan in the 70's. His father taught his brothers and him how to play basketball at the Y. After receiving no athletic scholarships, Jeremy went to Harvard and graduated with a 3.3 GPA, major in economics and minor in sociology. Sounds like a typically Chinese American kid, doesn't it? But the brainy young man surprised the world with 28 points as Knicks beat Utah Jazz on Feb. 6.

People in Taiwan have already called him the "Taiwanese Pride". What does Jeremy Lin represent to the Chinese Americans, or the Asian Americans in the States? Is he slashing the stereotype that nerdy Asians only belong to the golf courses?

All I know is, Jeremy Lin has got my big guy fired up, waiting to watch the Lakers V.S. Knicks game tonight. A Chinese American boy growing up in Cali can actually play (and play well so far) in the NBA! After a whole week of "Jeremy Lin 101" with me, my 5ft. 8in. big guy is suddently 23 years old again, and definitely not that much shorter than Jeremy's 6ft. 3 in.......

Oh, the American dream! Look at Jeremy Lin! I wonder how many people have done the right things to nurture such an outstanding young man. As a Chinese American teacher and mommy, what role can I play in my young children's life?

Book Review: The Kissing Hand 魔法親親



This lovely book was intruduced to me by another teacher at my school when I was a first year kindergarten teacher.

It is a heart-warming story talking about a little raccoon Chester who is ready to start school. He has all kinds of doubts and fears, just like any primary aged children before their first day of school. Chester's mom came up with a great idea to help him feel loved and secured by giving him a kiss in the hand. Whenever Chester feels lonely or scared, he can just hold up his hand to his face, the he will feel mommy's love even when she is not around.

I read this book to my son when he was 3, right before he started prescool.  We both loved this story and read it several times together. The little guy even noticed from the illustration that Chester is going to school at night and his teacher is an owl. It has been almost two years since we first read the story. But we still do the kissing hand every night before he goes to bed!

Hope you'll find this book and enjoy it as much as we do!

中文版是由上誼出版，書名是魔法親親，翻譯的很溫馨也很貼切。小浣熊Chester在故事裡表達了對第一次上學的不安，還有從家裡轉換到學校環境的焦慮，浣熊媽媽用一個在掌心的親親安撫了孩子的心，讓小浣熊Chester在媽媽不在身邊時，也能感受到媽媽的愛和溫暖。

Kindergarten Lottery 開獎日

We planned for a sledding trip at Lake Tahoe for my big guy's birthday. We didn't know at the time that the day we plan to leave, was going to be the day of my son's kindergarten lottery drawing.

According to the district website, the kindergarten lottery would be held by the principal and a PTA member at Pupil Service. The result would be available on Feb. 3 at the participating school sites. (Doesn't it sound like a restaurant commercial? "special prizes available only at participating locations" ) Therefore, on Feb. 3, after I finished packing three people's luggages for the weekend trip (The big guy is on his own.), I called the school to check on the result.

"The result will be posted after 5 pm today on the school library window." said the office lady who answered the phone. "Oh I'm sorry to bother you. It's about 3 pm now and we are going out of town for the weekend to celebrate a birthday. Is there anyway you can help to look up my son's name? Knowing the result before we leave will be a great relief for us."  "No." said the office lady over the phone, short and firm. "Oh ok, is the list going to be posted online so we can check after 5 pm today?" "No." the office lady repeated again, "The result will be posted after 5 pm today on the school library window."

Well, I said thank you and hung up and phone. Obviously the kindergarten lottery can't be compared to the California Lottery system. The result is not available online. And I totally understand the school policy of treating every parent the same way, no exceptions. So we put the unknown aside and enjoyed our trip for the weekend.

On our way back on Sunday, we drove by the school and there it was. My son's initials and birth date on the "attending" list on the library window. I hoorayed and clapped back to the car. My little daughter who had no idea what happened laughed along. My son looked surprised and told me if I don't settle down quickly, I will get a time-out when we go home.

So, yeah, we won the kindergarten lottery. I couldn't help but glancing at the names on the "waiting" list, all 54 of them. What are their parents thinking about right now? What does it mean to be on a waiting list to a high API score school? I'm sure their parents have done all the right things at the right time. But I guess in the end, it's all about just having some luck.

So for those of you out there waiting to participate in the kindergarten registration, here are some of tips to get you through:  幼兒園新生入學註冊須知

1. Right around the December holidays, check on the local school district website for kindergarten registration dates and information. 十二月起就可以上當地學區網站查詢幼兒園新生註冊資訊和截止日期。

2. Get the registration packet and prepare all documents. Be ridiculouly nice to the school staff. And triple check you have everything before you turn it in. 盡快到學校領取註冊資料並備齊所有文件。交件前重複檢查確認，對學校工作人員客氣有禮是不會錯的。

3. If there is a kindergarten lottery involved, it means your child might not get into the high API score school you move your family close to. There is nothing you can do at this time, so just chill. 如果新生人數過多，則需要抽籤才能決定入學，沒抽中去另一個學校還是有書讀，放寬心等結果吧!

And remember, no matter what the result is, which school your child gets in, how far you have to drive, or how much you dislike the teachers, the chances are, your child will still learn, make friends, and have fun wherever he/she goes.

Gifts Gifts Gifts!

The holidays were long gone and now the Chinese New Year is almost over. But I still didn't get a chance to put away our tree and the assorted shiny ornaments. Since the tree is still standing there, I kept the lights plugged in every evening. I guess to a certain point, enough blinking is enough. My son has already asked me twice with a puzzled face, " Is Christmas coming again, Mommy?"

Okay, call me lazy. But it's not exactly an easy job. Plus I'm still receovering from all the gift sorting and unwrapping. After the "oohs!" and "aahs!" and "???", thinking about what to re-gift and where to store the rest took most of my energy already. (Re-gifting? Please, let's be honest here. Who doesn't do it? I even have a re-gifting storage box in my garage.)

Don't get me wrong. I fully enjoyed the holiday gatherings and gift exchange. Cooking, eating, and hanging out with people are some my favorite things to do. And from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate the thoughts and wishes embedded in the gifts that everyone had chosen for us. But, there is always something of no use. Or I simply can't bring myself to use. A brass candle holder with three white candles for a Chinese family? A box of soap shaped as frosted cupcakes for two little children? I mean, I'd love to have some romantic moments with my big guy and see my kids bathed clean. However, it's rather difficult not to think of a tomb, or tell my little ones these cupcakes are for cleaning.

Back in 2005, it was my first year teaching in the U.S. public school as an kindergarten teacher. My school is in a small prestigious community in the south bay area with over 98% caucasian population. The school is located right by the cliff, with the grand view of the Pacific ocean, embraced by the sea breeze and the sound of contant crashing waves.  And I, the new young Asian teacher, who speaks English with a Mandarin accent, was surrounded by experienced teachers and parents worth millions of dollars. When it was around the holiday time, my colleagues began to receive gift cards from Nordstrom and the little blue box from Tiffany. I couldn't recall what I had as tokens of appreciation from parents that year. However, I remember the first stack of cards my students made for me.

30 cards, each with a Chirstmas trees drawn in crayon red and green, decorated with glued glitter dots, 29 "Merry Christmas to Ms. Hsieh!" written by little hands. Kento, the 5 years old long hair boy, who just moved from Tokyo to U.S. for three months at the time, wrote me this message: "Happy Christmas!  I like you in America."

Ever since then, I have taught 6 more years at different grade levels, received many student-made cards and generous gift cards. Somehow, Kento's tree and words stayed with me. The genuin wish and what I meant in a young heart, it is something of no apparent use. But it is definitely something I will never regift.

Monday Night Dinner

I just came back from my hometown Taiwan earlier this month. The never-long-enough vacation was filled by eating two breakfast daily (which include a stuffed rice ball with soy milk first, and a sandwich with barley milk later), chatting with family, lunch with stay-at-home moms, roaming the streets, random snack from street vendors, reading at Eslite bookstore, dinner with friends who work WAY too hard, shopping at night markets, random dessert from street vendors, and the fabulousness of being alone. Oh, I almost forgot. There was also, a bottle or two, of the Taiwanese Golden Label Beer in between the ongoing eating.

(Note: Teachers and Moms are human, too, especially a teacher mom. I do drink, appropriately and occasionally.)

How did I get to do all that being a mom of two little kids? Good question. I didn't take them with me! Yes, I can see some of you out there rolling your eyes at me. How could you!? Well, my big guy said ok and my in-laws took over the job of being the cook, the cleaner, the driver, and the nanny. Thanks to them, I got to be just me for two weeks.

If you are like me, moving to a foreign country at a young adult age, you miss the food you grow up with. I sure can find all sorts of Chinese cuisine here in Cali. But the food just doesn't taste right. Adding the long drive to the restaurant and the lack of variety on the menu, orange chicken and beef broccoli just don't sound very appetizing at any time. In Taipei, three meals and two snacks a day, I never had the chance to eat the same thing twice. The fact that I don't dare to drive in Taipei didn't stop me from eating. Any street vendors and restaurants are accessible with the MRT system or just a cab away. The convenience and the scrumptious food resulted in the unwanted 5 lbs on my already hanging belly. But it was all worth it!

Back from my personal salvation, here I am, picking my son up from preschool with my daughter in the back carseat. Turning at the corner of my street, my 20 months old daughter with limited verbal ability excitedly shouted out, "Mein Mein! " (it means noodles in Mandarin) and pointed at the All You Can Eat soup and salad place. My son then shouted, " Can we go there for dinner? Is it Monday today?"  To my son, the 4 years old nonstop-talking boy, Monday doens't mean anything but dinner at Souplantation/Sweet Tomato. Every Monday. Why? How? When did we start this routine? I don't quite remember. But my big guy and the kids love the cream of mushroom soup, the fake-cheese-tasting Mac&Cheese, and the warm blueberry muffins. So I'm relieved from dinner making every Monday.

To tell the truth, 12 years ago, I could never, ever, imagine eating at the same restaurant, or even the same food EVERY Monday. I would open my eyes wide and said, "What? Why would anyone want to do that? There are just so many other things out there to eat!". But magically, I found peace and comfort in our little routine. I know I will see my big guy talking loudly with his mouth full and my little ones laughing loudly with ice cream mustaches. The leafy veggies on my plate is grass compared to the spicy hot pot I had in Taipei. But somehow, in a weird way, I kind of look forward to chewing grass every Monday.

I guess it's not a bad thing after all, being happily domesticated.

Kindergarten Registration 註冊中

I don't know if you have seen the Target 2010 holiday commercial. It was so hilarious and made me want to rush to Target right away. Even though I'm almost there everyday already...buying essential and unnecessary household items at the same time.

As much as I can remember, the blonde lady in the commercial was wearing full body red track suit, doing sit-ups on the big red Target ball, (my 20 months old daughter still thinks it can be kicked like a regular ball...), lifting baskets of products as weights, practicing speed-giftwrap, running with a parachute behind, and counting down days on the calendar...all for the 2 days sale starting on black Friday.

As hilarious (or ridiculous) as it might sound, I did exactly all the above things in my mind, over and over again. But it was not for the great Target sale. It was for my son's kindergarten registration.

Yes, you read me right. Now you know what kind of mom I am...a teacher mom to be exact. After being an elementary teacher for 6 years in a prestigious south bay community, I decided to take one year leave to spend more time with my own little ones. Before I could even catch my breath, my husband got a job offer too good to reject. So here we are, moving from the sunny L.A. to the cloudy northern Cal. The dream of having my kids going to the same school I teach at can't seem to come true anymore.

Learning to be a full time mom is quite a lesson for me. All of a sudden, my son is turning 5 and entering kindergarten this fall. You must think when it comes to school registration, I shouldn't be sweating at all. I should have more insights than most parents. Unfortunately, that's why I am sweating. Because I know how tideous the paper work can be. I know how unclear the deadlines are listed. I know the possibility of one little thing goes undone, my son might not be in the lottery drawing in time.

Yes, you read me right again, lottery drawing, for a kindergarten spot in a public school setting. It's not happening at every elementary school site though, only at the "good" ones. (Oh, next time I'll talk about how "good" a school can be by just looking at its API scores...) Siblings of current students get priority to enroll in kindergarten first. Then the rest available spots are for first-born kids, which means new students to the district. However, at a "good" school, there are always way more new enrollments than the spots provided. Parents buy the unreasonable high-priced house in hope to get their kids into the good neighborhood school. But the truth is, after you have done the registration right, if your childn't name isn't picked at the lottery drawing, he or she will still be overflown to a school which still have spots available. (a.k.a, a "bad" neighborhood where parents won't fight to live in).

Now, can you understand my whole mental process of the Target preparation? I got the kindergarten registration packet in time, filled out all the forms, got the oral assessment form signed by a licensed dentist, dug out all legal documents proving residency, then booked the first appointment at 8 am to turn in the whole packet. The night before the registration appointment, I had my husband double checked all forms, told my children that Daddy will give them breakfast next morning, and went to bed thinking everything was fine and ready.

Finally, the big time had arrived. Within one minute of flipping through my son's kindergarten registration packet, the lady holding a grande cup of Starbucks coffee said to me, "I'm sorry, I can't take your registration packet today." I kept my smile but raised my voice a bit, "Excuse me, what do you mean?" "Here, you are missing an utility bill, without the bill, I can't take your packet today." "But I brought my car insurance bill. On the information sheet, it indicates that the car insurance bill is one of the documents which can prove my current location of residency."

After checking with three other ladies for 10 minutes and reading the information sheet for another minute, the lady returned to the table and said, "Oh ok,  it must be new this year. You are done. Good luck. Hopefully we'll get to see you again in fall."

There it was. My son's kindergarten registration was done. It felt like I had shopped until I dropped at Target's black Friday sale. Everything on my list was in my basket already. And I didn't even need to pepper-spray anybody!

The result is out of my hands now. All we need is a little good luck. I can't help but worry - what if they lose the 3 by 5 index card with my son's name on it? He won't even be in the lottery drawing!!!