中國人說十年樹木，百年樹人，但是很多家長都忽略了教職也是一份工作，要下班，要領薪水，老師也有家，有私人生活。就像兒子3歲剛開始上幼稚園的時候一樣，理所當然的覺得週末學校也會開門，老師們不是全都住在那裏嗎? 早上八點半上課，七點五十就有律師家長在教室門口等，想花個兩小時跟你研究為什麼孩子自治會選舉落選。凌晨四點會收到急診室值班醫師家長的電郵，詢問兩星期前公布(而且今天該交)的功課到底是什麼。家長會談時，好學生的家長質問你為什麼不給孩子更多挑戰。學習要加強的學生，家長認為你教導無方，輔導不力。行為偏差的孩子，家長覺得你沒有耐心，課堂失序。加上每天只有45分鐘的午餐時間，全校老師在排隊上廁所，排隊影印作業，急忙回家長電話和電郵，再排隊微波熱好便當之後，通常只剩下不到5分鐘能吃飯。幸運的話，大概在上課鐘響前還有幾秒鐘，可以和走廊上擦肩而過的其他老師說聲嗨。
我一點都沒有誇張，其實也不算是抱怨。在加州學校工友的薪資比老師多的情況下，我還是喜歡教書。我喜歡孩子學習時眼中發亮的期待。有學生不小心脫口喊我「Mom」，我偷笑著驕傲孩子對我的親暱和信任。我喜歡學生繞在身邊，迫不及待報告放學後我沒參與到的拉雜瑣事。我更珍惜中堂下課後，在我桌上偶然出現的野生蒲公英和手繪小卡片。
雖說做媽媽是我人生最重要的功課和學習，一日為師，我想大概這輩子，我都將厚顏以此自居。
When I decided to become a full time mom last year, two other teachers teaching at my grade level also made the decision to retire at the end of the school year. Although we all had different reasons to leave the job, the mixed feelings we had toward teaching remain the same.
My daughter, 8 months old at that time, was accidentally burned by hot water while with the nanny at home. It was a extremely painful and traumatic experience for all of us. It also led me to reconsider what are my priorities in life. So, on June 9, 2011, I said goodbye to my students at the begining of summer break, locked up my classroom, and moved out years worth of teaching materials, books, tools, props, and memories to storage.
Maybe it's hard to believe. But many people tend to forget a teacher has a personal life. Just like how my son felt when he first started preschool at 3 - he assumed all teachers live at school and they never leave. If you have an office job earning a mid 40K annual salary, your boss or clients probably won't expect you to be on call at 4am or 8pm on a daily basis without prior notice.
But if you are a teacher, you might get an ADA mom waiting by your classroom door 40 minutes before school starts, ready to have a two hour conversation about why her child didn't win for student council. You might receive an email sent at 4 am from an ER doc mom, asking what the homework is on the exact due date. At parent conference, the parents think you haven't challenged their child accordingly if the child is doing a good job. If the student needs improvement, the parents say you haven't given the child enough attention. If there are behavior issues, the parents believe you don't have patience and can't manage your class. Not to mention if you are low on the senority list, your principal might drop in on you at any minute and stay however long she wants. You can't say no to parents who volunteer to help but actually sip Starbucks and "hellicopter" their own children.
Moreover, during your exact 45 minutes lunch break, you need to walk 28 kids in line to cafeteria and make sure they are fed. Secondly, you wait in line at the only teacher restroom to take care of your business. Then, you wait in line at the only copy machine to prep for the afternoon projects. Back to your classroom, you check your voice mail and struggle with the 5 years old PC to reply emails. Eventually, you wait in line again at the only microwave to heat up your lunch. It's a lucky day if you have 5 minutes left to eat and say hi to another teacher in the hallway.
I'm not exaggerating or trying to be bitter. Despite all the above said and all the more I didn't mention, I taught primary grades for 6 years. I love being a teacher. I like teaching kids in different ways so they find school fun. I enjoy the moment when a kid unintentionally calls me "Mom". I listen to stories about their day after school. I cherish the occasional dandelions and hand-made cards after recess. I love seeing kids' eyes brighten up when they learn.
After staying at home happily for almost a year, I couldn't help but miss a teacher's gig. Although being a mom is always the first thing, being a teacher is still somewhere down on my list.
To be or not to be, I believe it will always be my inner calling.
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