Call me a "Dragon Mom" 虎媽別傳

如果你是在美的華裔父母, 你一定聽過什麼是「虎媽」。

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (中譯: 虎媽戰歌) 的作者Amy Chua (蔡美兒) 出生於虎年, 以「虎媽」和耶魯大學法學系教授的身分, 發表了她教養兩位出色女兒的回憶錄以及她做母親的心路歷程 - 對父母絕對的服從與尊重, 所有的成績一定要A+, 不斷的練琴挑戰極限, 不准在朋友家過夜, 不能交男朋友。

我第一次聽到「虎媽」的時候, 馬上想到小時候奶奶講給我聽的故事 - 虎姑婆。幻化成老太婆的老虎精會在晚上出沒, 專門抓不好好睡覺的小孩來吃。這種半威脅加恫嚇的童話, 現在大概沒有家長會講給小孩聽了, 可笑的是我很八股, 心裡一直存在著母老虎駭人的形象。

在蔡美兒的書廣受好評與爭議的同時,「虎媽」這個名詞也被濫用了,尤其是泛指所謂「嚴格」教育孩子的華裔母親。妳若是讓孩子做任何學校規定外的習題, 妳就是虎媽。妳若是要求孩子一天彈20分鐘鋼琴, 妳就是虎媽。妳若是以堅決的口吻要孩子吃青菜, 妳就是虎媽。妳若是給胡鬧的孩子任何懲罰, 妳就是虎媽。妳若是膽敢限制孩子看電視或使用iPad的時間, 妳肯定就是個不折不扣, 而且老派落伍的虎媽。

我大概算是個虎媽吧! 兒子下課後我偶爾會準備其它的project讓他完成, 因為學習不應該只在學校裡發生。兒子想學鋼琴和繪畫, 試課後讓他擇一選定, 然後就要認真全力以赴。我教孩子要吃健康營養的食物, 不要挑剔也不要浪費。不管是在家或在外, 孩子不守規矩沒有禮貌, 我都會嚴聲勸止。孩子如果表現出色, 我會不時給予驚喜的獎勵。每天看卡通或玩iPad的時間也有限制, 這樣才有更多的時間跑跳玩耍!

很嚴格嗎? 其實我是龍年生的, 叫我「龍媽」似乎更貼切點。孩子還小, 正在學習如何獨立思考,自律和做選擇。我想給他們一個規律安定的環境, 讓孩子在人格成熟的過程中, 慢慢學習自主自立, 在我這個「嚴格兼寵愛」的「龍媽」照顧下好好長大。

所有的父母都有自己教養孩子的準則。我不可能完美。但是我期勉自己聆聽孩子的聲音, 調整自己的做法, 試著當一個比今天更好的媽媽。

蔡美兒說: It’s about believing in your child more than anyone else – more than they believe in themselves – and helping them realize their potential, whatever it may be. 

這, 將是我做老師和做媽媽不斷學習謹記的課題。

If you are a Chinese parent in the States, you have probably heard of the term "Tiger Mom".

Amy Chua, born in the year of the tiger, a professor at Yale Law School, the author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, shared her personal journey about how she transformed as a mother, and how she tried to raise her daughters the same way she was raised by her first generation Chinese immigrant parents - the demand of absolute respect, math drills, piano practice, no less than A+grades, and no sleepovers or boyfriends.

The first time I heard about the term "Tiger Mom", I automatically thought of the story - 虎姑婆 (direct translation: Tiger Great Aunt) my grandma told me when I was a little. It's an ancient Chinese folktale where a tiger was disguised as an old lady, snatching and eating kids who refused to go to sleep at night. I know, it's not exactly parents' first choice for bedtime story nowadays. And it has absolutely nothing to do with Amy Chua's tiger mother story.

The term "Tiger Mom" has been used very elaborately ever since the book came out, finger-pointing Asian parents (especially Chinese) who raise their children in any "strict" ways. If you help your child do a non-school-assigned project or worksheet, you are a tiger mom. If you require your child a 20 minutes of musical instrument practice each day, you are a tiger mom. If you ask your child to eat more vegetables in a firm voice, you are a tiger mom. If you take any privileges away from your child as a consequence of bad behavior, you are a tiger mom. If you ever, set a time limit for the use of technology of any kind for your child, you are THE tiger mom. An outdated one, too. 

Call me a "Tiger Mom" if you like. I help my 6 years old do extra projects because learning doesn't stop once school it out. I let him explore art and music as extra-curricular activities. Once he makes his choice, he needs to devote his best. I teach my children to make healthy food choices and be happy with what they have. I use my teacher voice when my children are disrespectful, no matter at home or in public. A reward will be given as a surprise if they do something above and beyond. A consequence is in line when they misbehave. My children have limited time for technology use so they spend more time playing, running, or just being silly.

In fact, I was born in the dragon year. Call me a "Dragon Mom" if you please. At the age of 3 and 6, my children are acquiring the ability of independent thinking, internal self-control, and decision making. By providing a structured life at this time and letting them take more control as they mature, I hope my children will blossom beautifully with the care of  their firm but loving mother. 

We all have different priorities and approaches as to how to raise our own children. I am not going to be perfect. But I am determined to listen, adjust, and striving to be better everyday. 

Ultimately, I agree with what the original Tiger Mother said: It’s about believing in your child more than anyone else – more than they believe in themselves – and helping them realize their potential, whatever it may be. 

And that's what I will always remember as a teacher, and as a ever learning mother.

Link to the book : Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom

The Teacher's Note 請簽名歸還

事情是從一張皺巴巴的爛紙條開始的。

那天兒子一放學回家, 照慣例, 馬上就急著要玩要和妹妹鬥嘴, 總是要三催四請才慢吞吞的把書包裡的東西拿出來歸位 (我準備了in box 讓他自己放從學校帶回來的東西, 我晚上有空時才去翻閱整理)。他放好了一堆拉雜東西後, 從書包裡又拿了張紙出來, 「老師說要你簽名」, 直接交到我手裡就轉頭去玩了。好小子! 開學才不到兩個月, 老師的第一張紙條就來了! 上面罰寫了一遍「我會遵守校規」, 老師請家長簽名歸還, 其他什麼都沒有。重點是, 發生了什麼事呢?

我偷瞄了一下兒子, 完全沒有心虛偽善的樣子。「今天在學校有乖嗎?」「有啊!」看來我得換個方法問,「為什麼老師叫你寫這個句子呢? 你想想看, 是不是有不聽話被老師說了?」兒子這會兒停下來認真想了一下, 「喔, 老師說不可以頭朝下溜滑梯, 很危險。然後叫我坐在旁邊不准玩了。」呼, 還好還好, 小錯, 可以更正。我碎嘴訓誡了 一番, 又解釋了頭朝下溜滑梯可能頭破血流很可怕之類, 就簽了名放回書包的聯絡夾裡, 叮嚀兒子明天一早放進教室老師的in box裡。第二天放學, 兒子一臉悶悶不樂, 委屈的說老師又罰他坐在操場邊不准玩, 因為老師問起昨天媽媽簽名的紙條時, 他一下想不起來放在哪了, 老師就認定他沒帶回去, 馬上再度處罰。其實兒子一早就把聯絡夾交回in box了, 老師完全沒有去看一下。

這樣的懲罰適當嗎? 哪裡有說明若隔天沒有簽名歸還, 孩子就要二度受罰呢? 由一個5歲孩子代替老師跟家長溝通, 這樣合理嗎? 老爺叫我不要太介意, 只是件小事, 才剛開學沒多久, 老師又知道我也是教職人員, 合理的詢問也很容易被誤認為批判 。好吧, 人生本來就不公平, 受點委屈, 讓兒子趁早有個小教訓也好。跟兒子聊了一下已經5歲了, 自己的東西自己要負責云云, 吃了點冰淇淋, 我看他也釋懷得很快。那天晚上我寫了email 告訴老師紙條早已交回, 其他什麼都沒說。

突然想起我還在教書時用的behavior chart。從一開學就和家長和學生說明獎懲辦法, 放在教室前方人人清楚可見的地方, 用不同顏色的色卡來鼓勵良好表現的學生, 也提醒行為需要修正的孩子留意言行, 在上課時不需要為了管理秩序而中斷教學, 也沒有突如其來, 動輒得咎的處罰方式。若當天有特殊的獎懲情況, 放學後我都以簡短紙條或email馬上通知家長。

在兒子的教室裡, 我也見過一模一樣的behavior chart。掛在一堆灰塵僕僕的勞作紙後方, 被圖釘釘著的過期周報半蓋著, 上面仍標示著不知是哪年的學生名字。

是啊, 簽名歸還一張老師的紙條, 不難。但是做一個恰如其分的teacher mom, 很難。

It all started with a piece of wrinkled lined paper back in October.

My little guy pulled a paper out from his backpack and handed it to me, " My teacher said you have to sign this." Then off he went to play with his toys. I opened the folded paper. Ah, here we go, my wormy little guy's first teacher note. It looked like the little guy was asked to write a sentence: " I will follow school rules." And the teacher wanted us to sign and return it.

"Did you have a good day?" I was puzzled about what happened. The little guy paused for a second and said, "Yeah!" Hmm, maybe I should ask in a different way. "Why did your teacher ask you to write this sentence? Did you you get in trouble today?" He stopped playing for a minute and said, "Oh, now I remembered. My teacher said I can't slide head down first on the play structure. It's dangerous."

Whew! Ok, not too bad, it was a minor misbehavior. So I reminded him about playground rules, signed the paper and returned it in his homework folder. The next day, the little guy looked unhappy when I picked him up after school. He didn't have his recess but sat on a bench for a time-out. (If you have kids, you know how important recess is to them!) What was the reason? He said when the teacher asked him about the paper, he forgot where it was. (If you have a 5 years old, you know everything needs to be in plain sight or it's considered gone!) The little guy actually followed my direction and returned the homework folder with the paper in there. He just couldn't remember at that moment. And his teacher didn't bother to check first but sent him straight for another punishment.

Was that a fair consequence? Did the note indicate double punishment if it isn't signed and returned the next day? Is it appropriate to rely on a 5 year old's words to communicate with parents? My big guy told me not to make this into a big deal. Concerns from a teacher mom could easily be mistaken as criticism. Well, I guess life isn't always fair. So I talked the little guy about taking responsibilities. He listened and after a bowl of ice cream, he almost forgot all about losing recess. Later that night, I emailed the teacher and told her the whereabouts of the note, nothing else.

All of a sudden, I thought of the color-coded behavior chart I had in the past teaching years. It was a powerful tool for me to monitor students behavior without interrupting the class. Students could see it in front of the classroom as a visual reminder without being put on the spot. Steps to rewards and different levels of consequences were clearly explained to parents and reinforced with students throughout the year. A quick note or email would follow to communicate with parents about any issues occurred during the school day.

Being a parent volunteer every Thursday, I have seen the same  color-coded chart in my little guy's classroom. It is behind a pile of dusty construction paper, pinned under some old school newsletters, and still labeled with student names from who knows which school year.

I know, it's not hard to just sign and return the teacher's note. But it is very hard not to be a questioning teacher mom.

Volunteer in the Classroom 教室義工初體驗

兒子幼稚園開學已經快滿兩個月了, 十月開始我每週四在他班上當半天的義工媽媽, 小不點的2歲女兒也不得已的紅著眼眶, 背影堅毅的在週四早上去daycare四小時, 對我們三個來說, 都是一個全新的開始和捨得。
 

第一次要去當義工媽媽的前晚, 老爺好意警告我要皮繃緊一點, 克制一下要跳上台教書的衝動,只要幫忙做老師交代的事情就好。嗯, 說得沒錯, 我是為了兒子才去幫忙的, 希望他了解媽媽重視他的學習狀況, 願意參與他學習過程的一部分。於是第一個星期, 我剪了上千張的橘色小紙片, 準備全班30個孩子們要做的南瓜拼貼勞作。第二個星期, 我描畫摺疊了30個火雞帽, 把家庭作業歸檔, 然後在大鐵梯上爬上爬下的更換櫥窗佈置。第三個星期, 由於我是家長會1班1人的美術教學義工, 所以教了一堂30分鐘繪畫音樂兼備的美術課。從頭到尾兒子眼睛睜得大大, 很新奇的看著我口沫橫飛, 其他的孩子們倒是聽得津津有味。

 

說真的, 我是有點想念教書的日子。兒子是迫不及待的希望每週四都快點到, 女兒是一聽到媽媽要volunteer就委屈紅眼, 撒嬌說要一起去哥哥學校。

 

啊, 這學年還有好多個星期四呢! 到下個學年之前, 我還剩多少天能再想想何時回去重執教鞭呢?!

 

 

 

My little guy has started kindergarten for two months now. I've decided to volunteer in his class on Thursdays. And my 2 years old little girl has to go to daycare for 4 hours on Thursday mornings. Overall, it's a whole new experience for the three of us!

My big guy warned me before the first time I started volunteering: You need to control the urge of taking the class over and just do whatever the teacher asks. Yes, I totally agree. I'm there for the little guy so that he knows how much I care about his learning.

The first week, I chopped close to a thousand tiny pieces of orange paper for a pumpkin mosaic project. The second week, I traced 30 turkey hats, filed homework, climbed a ladder and took down window decorations. The third week, I finally got to teach an art lesson since I signed up to be a PTA art docent. I have to admit, the teacher in me is itching. Volunteering has gotten me back into a real classroom. However, the experience has been quite interesting to me with mixed feelings.

The little guy is definitely loving the idea of me being there - even though most of the time I sat behind the chart stand and buried by piles of paper. When I was teaching the mini art lesson last Thursday, his eyes got wide open while his classmates participated with excitement. I guess it was an eye opening experience for him - seeing Mommy in action as a classroom teacher for 30 minutes.

There are more Thursdays to come. And I look forward to being there, seeing my little guy learn.

There are more school years to come. And I start to wonder when (or ever) I should be back on stage as a teacher.

 

 

Before Teacherization 從前，以後

沒多少人知道我在當老師之前做過幾個工作。

畢業剛來美國的時候想讀旅館管理，大學時在台北凱悅打工的經驗，讓我一心嚮往每天接觸人群，美食，和優雅的環境。沒想到在UCLA報名的課程被取消了，誤打誤撞的轉念了企管的證書。一年後，國際學生的身分讓我找工作難上加難，同時又在考慮人生大事，旅館業不定時的上班時間讓我打消了從事這行的念頭。

我的第一份工作是在一間小型健康食品公司當行政助理，每天只要聊天打字就好。第二份工作是在有黑白相間動物商標的中國餐館當經理，兩週的訓練期內，一天要開120英哩的車程來回，學習如何鋪好桌巾和補桌上醬料。第三份工作是在保險公司做業務助理，一天大約只做5份報價。第四份工作是在中文廣播電台當行銷助理，可以幫廣告配音，週六還主持了一個電台美食節目。在接洽了環球影城個把月之後，好不容易取得了90張的免費入場卷，可供電台辦活動，送給聽眾當作優惠。結果經理說我太年輕，表現太過，公司裡其他的人最好不要知道有這回事。第五份工作是在知名健康產品直銷公司當客服。世界各地直銷商打來的詢問電話沒停過，同事平均一天接60通，我每天接聽200通，還要在休息時刻回覆不會講英文的中國直銷商。工作一年之後，經理問我是不是有英語方面的溝通障礙，上星期我轉接給組長處理的一通電話中，組長聽不太懂我解說的情形為何。

我實在是厭倦了換工作，也彷徨不知道自己可以做什麼。在我們家老爺建議之下，我開始了小學教師訓練課程。繳了很多學費，通過無數的考試，上課，觀摩和實習，兩年之後，我拿到了第一階段的雙語教師證照。很幸運的開始教書之後，開始了教師後期的訓練，每週要參加workshops，寫報告，做學生case study，還要被校長和資深老師評估審核，再度歷時兩年之後，我終於拿到了合格的雙語教師證照。緊接而來的卻是加州政府教育經費縮減，像我這樣資淺的老師，每年都有被辭退的危機。

想當個老師不簡單吧! 上星期在LA Times看到一則新聞，一位女性科任老師被國中學生舉報，在情色電影裡看到老師多年之前的演出。其他老師在手機上略查之後通報學區，這名老師被督學指為"瓦解學校制度"，在詳盡調查開始前即被開除。我不禁在想，這位老師走過什麼樣的求職路？是個好老師嗎？在課堂上是否有不得體的行為？想不想繼續教育英才？在被開除之前有為自己說話嗎？

我相信每個人都要為自己所做過的決定負責，凡走過必留下痕跡，在過程中我們不斷學習，重新為自己找到向前的契機。希望有一天，我的孩子能了解，人的過去既不可恥，也不可怕。重要的是，從這一刻起，你要怎麼過你的人生，有沒有勇氣讓以後比從前更好。

Few people know about how I become a teacher in the U.S.

In 1999, with the limited amount of money I had for tuition, I enrolled myself in a one year certificate program at UCLA Extension, majoring in hotel management as an international student. Why hotel managment? It all started when I was a sophomore in college. I taught ESL classes after school and made a decent amount of money. I also worked as a server two nights a week in a restaurant at Grand Hyatt Taipei. The hourly pay was minimum but the job made quite an impression on me. It was all about the things I love - meeting people, gourmet food, and a luxurious environment.

However, after I moved from Taipei to LA, the counselor at UCLA extension informed me the hotel managment program had been cancelled. I could either transfer to another program, or lose my student visa and go back to Taiwan. Well, I wasn't ready to pack up and go home yet. So one year later, I finished the certificate program as a business major. Looking for a job with an OPT status was not easy. (OPT means you can earn minimum wage and be a tax payer as an alien for one year.) Plus the big guy and I were planning to get married, hotel jobs were out of the question since the hours were too crazy.

My first job was an admin assistant in a small health product company. All I did was typing. My second job was an assistant manager at Pxxxx Inn. ( Yes, it's the famous Chinese restaurant with the black and white animal logo.) The HR staff made me drive 120 miles everyday for two weeks for the initial training. My third job was at an insurance company. I prepared about 5 quotes per day. My fourth job was a marketing assistant at a Chinese radio station. I got to co-host a radio show introducing local restaurants on Saturday mornings. After I spent weeks writing proposals and contacting Universal Studio, I got 90 promotional tickets for free. My manager told me I did too good of a job as the new gal. No one in the company should know about this.

My fifth job was at an international health product company Hxxxxxlife. I answered 200 calls from distributors per day. The average calls my colleagues answered were 60. I was the most junior staff chosen to work at the world wide distributor convention in New Orleans. After working there for a year, my manager asked me "Do you feel that you have a langauge barrier? A week ago you transferred a call to your supervisor and he couldn't understand what you explained to him."

I was fed up with job hopping and didn't know what I really wanted to do. My big guy suggested that I should look into teaching again. So I decided to give it a shot, thinking I can become a teacher after a year or two. Well, that was not the case.

Here are what I went through to become a bilingual teacher in California. From step 1 to 10, the long journey took me four whole years!

1. Pass CBEST. (It's a test about your basic knowledge in English, math and writing.)
2. Take more than 60 units worth of classes.
3. Do more than 30 hours worth of classroom observation.
4. Pass CSET. (It's a test about your general knowledge regarding all elementary subjects.)
5. Pass RICA. (It's about how to teach reading.)
6. Take CSET for second language teaching. (In my case: reading, writing, and listening in Mandarin)
7. Be assigned to two different grade levels for student teaching. ( You follow your master teachers and do whatever they ask you to do. They get to write a final review about your performance.)
8. You get your preliminary credential. Find a full time job ASAP at this point. Or your credential will be cancelled after 5 years. (Like getting a teaching job is so easy!)
9. Pass BTSA program. (It's a two year probationary program after you become a full time teacher - workshops, projects, being observed by mentors, and filling out documents to prove that you can teach.)　
10. Finally, you get your clear credential. (It doesn't mean you won't lose your job next year since the budget cut is increasing and you are low on the seniority list.)

Wasn't it easy to become a teacher! There was an article on L.A. Times last week. A middle school teacher was reported by her own students that she was starring in pornographic films in the past. The Superintendant called it a "disruption". The teacher was put on leave then fired pending investigation.

I couldn't help but wondering the alleged teacher's long day's journey into night. Before teacherization, what was her story when she got involved in exotic films? What did she have to overcome to arrive at teacher land? Did she say or do inappropriate things in class? Was she a good teacher? Did she care about making a difference in students' lives? Did she have a chance to stand up for herself upon job termination?

We all have to answer to the decisions we made in the past. Along the way, we learn, and we move on to find ourselves new beginnings. One day, I hope my children will understand there is no need to be afraid or ashamed of your past. It makes you who you are today. What matters is how you will live your life from now on.  What matters is how you can make tomorrow a better day.

To Be or Not to Be 一日為師

去年二月我就決定了要今年在家休息，教了六年的書有些疲倦，最主要還是因為當時8個月大的女兒在家出了意外，保母一時失神讓女兒被熱奶器裡的水燙傷，動了手術住了院，在我心裡的傷痕不亞於女兒身上的印記。另外兩個教同年級的資深老師也都不約而同的決定退休，各自規劃卸下教職以後的人生。其中一個六十好幾(依舊是個金髮辣阿嬤)的老師感慨的說，教了三十年的書，一輩子與「老師」這個稱謂畫上等號，今後不教書了，還真不知道該如何給自己定位。

中國人說十年樹木，百年樹人，但是很多家長都忽略了教職也是一份工作，要下班，要領薪水，老師也有家，有私人生活。就像兒子3歲剛開始上幼稚園的時候一樣，理所當然的覺得週末學校也會開門，老師們不是全都住在那裏嗎? 早上八點半上課，七點五十就有律師家長在教室門口等，想花個兩小時跟你研究為什麼孩子自治會選舉落選。凌晨四點會收到急診室值班醫師家長的電郵，詢問兩星期前公布(而且今天該交)的功課到底是什麼。家長會談時，好學生的家長質問你為什麼不給孩子更多挑戰。學習要加強的學生，家長認為你教導無方，輔導不力。行為偏差的孩子，家長覺得你沒有耐心，課堂失序。加上每天只有45分鐘的午餐時間，全校老師在排隊上廁所，排隊影印作業，急忙回家長電話和電郵，再排隊微波熱好便當之後，通常只剩下不到5分鐘能吃飯。幸運的話，大概在上課鐘響前還有幾秒鐘，可以和走廊上擦肩而過的其他老師說聲嗨。

我一點都沒有誇張，其實也不算是抱怨。在加州學校工友的薪資比老師多的情況下，我還是喜歡教書。我喜歡孩子學習時眼中發亮的期待。有學生不小心脫口喊我「Mom」，我偷笑著驕傲孩子對我的親暱和信任。我喜歡學生繞在身邊，迫不及待報告放學後我沒參與到的拉雜瑣事。我更珍惜中堂下課後，在我桌上偶然出現的野生蒲公英和手繪小卡片。

雖說做媽媽是我人生最重要的功課和學習，一日為師，我想大概這輩子，我都將厚顏以此自居。

When I decided to become a full time mom last year, two other teachers teaching at my grade level also made the decision to retire at the end of the school year. Although we all had different reasons to leave the job, the mixed feelings we had toward teaching remain the same.

My daughter, 8 months old at that time, was accidentally burned by hot water while with the nanny at home. It was a extremely painful and traumatic experience for all of us. It also led me to reconsider what are my priorities in life. So, on June 9, 2011, I said goodbye to my students at the begining of summer break, locked up my classroom, and moved out years worth of teaching materials, books, tools, props, and memories to storage.

Maybe it's hard to believe. But many people tend to forget a teacher has a personal life. Just like how my son felt when he first started preschool at 3 - he assumed all teachers live at school and they never leave. If you have an office job earning a mid 40K annual salary, your boss or clients probably won't expect you to be on call at 4am or 8pm on a daily basis without prior notice.

But if you are a teacher, you might get an ADA mom waiting by your classroom door 40 minutes before school starts, ready to have a two hour conversation about why her child didn't win for student council. You might receive an email sent at 4 am from an ER doc mom, asking what the homework is on the exact due date. At parent conference, the parents think you haven't challenged their child accordingly if the child is doing a good job. If the student needs improvement, the parents say you haven't given the child enough attention. If there are behavior issues, the parents believe you don't have patience and can't manage your class.  Not to mention if you are low on the senority list, your principal might drop in on you at any minute and stay however long she wants. You can't say no to parents who volunteer to help but actually sip Starbucks and "hellicopter" their own children.

Moreover, during your exact 45 minutes lunch break, you need to walk 28 kids in line to cafeteria and make sure they are fed. Secondly, you wait in line at the only teacher restroom to take care of your business. Then, you wait in line at the only copy machine to prep for the afternoon projects. Back to your classroom, you check your voice mail and struggle with the 5 years old PC to reply emails. Eventually, you wait in line again at the only microwave to heat up your lunch. It's a lucky day if you have 5 minutes left to eat and say hi to another teacher in the hallway.

I'm not exaggerating or trying to be bitter. Despite all the above said and all the more I didn't mention, I taught primary grades for 6 years. I love being a teacher. I like teaching kids in different ways so they find school fun. I enjoy the moment when a kid unintentionally calls me "Mom". I listen to stories about their day after school. I cherish the occasional dandelions and hand-made cards after recess. I love seeing kids' eyes brighten up when they learn.

After staying at home happily for almost a year, I couldn't help but miss a teacher's gig. Although being a mom is always the first thing, being a teacher is still somewhere down on my list.

To be or not to be, I believe it will always be my inner calling.